Ode to Menopause by Ariale M. Huff No more fuss, no muss, no pins or straps, no sticky strips from front to back. No more accidents — public & private, cold water rinse-outs, battlefield bedding. Au revoir PMS, Migraines adieu, Goodbye crampy days, So long bloat — I'll miss you too. No more hormone rages, women in cages. Seeping out minerals & vitamins. No more tests Baby maybe. A menopausal woman must have decided a sentence should end with a period, and then it's done period. This poem was done in reaction to the many women I know and those about whom I read who face menopause, and aging itself, as a fearful curse. They express fear, anger, and resentment at this normal progression of life, when I find myself feeling elated and as though embarking on a new adventure, much as I did when I entered puberty, became pregnant, and had a baby. When I express my elation, it is often misunderstood to mean that I haven't had any of the normal peri-menopausal symptoms. Wrong — I have experienced hot flashes, itchy skin, excessive bleeding, cramping, acne, and migraines bad enough to bring me to my knees twice a month for three days each. What I have not experienced is a sense of powerlessness. I am immensely empowered by this process, and I will give the credit to my mother who began telling me of her passage into priestesshood/woman warrior/shaman at the time that she began entering menopause. I am shocked to learn that so few other women know all the values of leaving the menstrual years. All the reading I have done about menopause and peri-menopause seems overly proud of itself. "After all these years of silence, we are finally talking about this important transition for women," but then, all they do is focus on the difficulties without mentioning any of the positive side, which is most of it. As I talk to women who are past the transition, I begin to get the same messages I got from my mother. They wink slyly and agree when I mention the joys of menopause. I want to share my mother's good words — and the benefits I've discovered beyond her teaching, too. Peri-menopause is the period of time between being a "breeder" and not being one. If all your self-identity is tied into this concept, you probably will regard the cessation of this function as a loss. Haven't we come beyond defining women this way? Don't we admire and even accredit sexuality to women beyond fifty these days? I think we do, but what is missing for women is knowledge about the "positives" waiting on the other side of the curtain. First, though, let's talk about the "negatives" you won't have. I mentioned many of them in the poem: no more cramping, bleeding, PMS, worry about unplanned pregnancy, or expense buying feminine products. No more fussing with pads or tampons, no more planning activities around a whole week out of a month, and no more pregnancy — unless you want it. I found myself watching an attractive woman on a TV commercial the other day. She had beautiful, swinging hair and a youthfully healthy body. I was amused by my reaction to her. I was saying in my own head, "Ha, you have to have cramps and wear tampons, and I don't." As the I Ching says, "No loss without gain; no gain without loss." Aside from the departure of menstrual difficulties, menopause brings a cornucopia of benefits: increased energy and a balance to the physical self that women between 13 and fifty simply do not get to have. There is a sense of freedom, not just physically as the limitations of menstrual needs fall away, but also as a woman is freed of the mantle of fulfilling her "biological destiny." At menopause, a woman is free to say, "Done that, been there, going somewhere else now," none of which means not enjoying the grandkids, by the way. Better sex is a much-overlooked benefit of menopause. Apologies to any of you who are put off by a Harold and Maude image. Actually, I'm sorry for you, because you have nothing to look forward to. Not only does menopause bring a freedom from worry of pregnancy, but also a freedom from birth control devices: goodbye condoms, loops, pills, itchy gels, painful diaphragms, etc. Added to the sense of greater freedom is the testosterone boost a woman gets when her hormones level out. You know: that hormone we all blame for men wanting sex all the time. Think about it. Another interesting aspect about hormones: at the two ends of life, people are closer to the other gender in their characteristics. Men gentle with age; women strengthen. I can't think of a greater phenomenon for either. (I want to be clear here that my enjoyment of menopause is not due to my dislike of life before it. I loved being pregnant and giving birth, I never had PMS, and I have had a fully enjoyable sexual life all along. I think my enjoyment of the life stage I am currently in is just a continuation of my enjoyment of my life in general.) I have also noticed a marvelous peacefulness attendant to being out of the hormone-driven loop of youthful breeders. Suddenly, like an amused observer, I see all the ludicrous behaviors people go through due to not being at peace with their hormones — breeder's anxiety. The wonderful thing about menopause, hormonal aging, is that sexual enjoyment and interest do not have to exit along with this anxiety. In fact, I think, the lack of this coupling desperation is at the heart of the greater enjoyment people have as they get older. As my 27-year old daughter would say, "Cool." My mother promised to me both a sense of renewed creative energy and a sense of power in the world as my hair grayed and my meno paused. She was so correct. And, like so many women of her age, when I talk with frustration about the women I know or hear of who are angry and fearful about menopause and aging, my mother will laugh, a full, sagacious laughter with wisdom and delight twinkling from her eyes. It is as if these wiser, older women are all saying to me, "Even better yet to come." Beyond Menopause Just goodbye is not enough. Hello horizons: Hot air balloon to energy. Testosterone chaser to balance things. Safe sex, friendly sex, Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle in lingerie: freehanded, openhearted, priestess of love. I rise on the freedom, comfort, nutrients untapped, life uncircumcised, emotions untrapped. I admit to the joy, submit to the joy. Hello, new woman, goodbye, old — Life used to be silver. Now, it's gold. Ariale M. Huff teaches creative writing classes through several community colleges.