Mariel Hemingway Finds Her Balance: An heir to the swashbuckling Hemingway legend explores the rugged terrain of her internal spiritual landscape. By Deborah Behrens Family dynasties are often envied more for the perceived glamour of their public personas than for the realities experienced by those born into the name. Whether you're a Kennedy, a Rockefeller or a Hemingway, crafting a life for one's self involves more than a simple coming-of-age tale; it's an entire Homeric journey. The dragons and demons you're required to vanquish are not merely your own, but include any others still haunting the family members who came before you. Mariel Hemingway was forced to find her own balance and spiritual center in order to survive the wake left by her grandfather's Olympian legacy-a wake that capsized her parents' loveless marriage and left her, at a very young age, to care for a sick mother and become the stable anchor of an emotionally chaotic family. An international celebrity at 17 after starring in Woody Allen's Manhattan, Mariel sought out anyone and anything that could help her gain control of a constantly unraveling world. "I spent exorbitant amounts of money and energy going off looking for people to heal me in my life," she says from her summer home in Sun Valley, Idaho, where she is happily preparing to take her family- husband Stephen Crisman and their teenage daughters, Dree and Langley-for a weekend rafting trip on the Salmon River. Her bright exuberance for the trip has that zest-for-life vitality displayed by someone virtually raised outdoors. "Until it came to me-the only person who could take care of me was me. I learned to put together key things that allowed me to become my own therapist. To really heal myself." Standing Still How Hemingway ultimately learned to cope with her life was by simply standing still. Her insightful new book and memoir, "Finding Your Balance" Simon & Schuster) opens with a photograph of her standing in Tadasana, or Mountain pose, a traditional starting point for many yoga practices. "I want to begin this story of my life by simply standing still," she writes. "As I reflect on Mountain pose and understand the implications of its name, I can begin to understand my great need for stability and groundedness." Each chapter is named for a different yoga pose to illustrate core philosophies that have helped shape her personal journey. Today at 41, Hemingway has woven 20 years of meditation and yoga into a new role as an inspirational yoga teacher and advocate for spiritual consciousness. She built her Sacred Cow Studio in Sun Valley to help her prepare for numerous public appearances, including natural health expos. Hemingway is bringing her hard-earned message of the importance of being present to adults and kids alike. "I discovered through this process of living life that I really have learned the tools to be a self-healer," she says. "The root of it comes from the practice of being present. Many times it's incredibly difficult. How can I stay inside my body? How can I react in a new way? If I don't fight it, it's amazing how things won't affect me in the old way. But that's why it's only practice. I will never succeed, because some of the tests just get harder and you just keep practicing. When I speak to groups about my spiritual path, I have to be so much more honest about it in myself." That honesty in sharing her own life story brought her transformational experiences she hadn't anticipated. "I had no idea it was coming. I knew I was promoting a book, and someone said, 'You know, you're really honest in this book. Everyone is going to know everything about you.' Oh. I didn't think about it when I was writing alone in my little room and sharing it with the odd, few people. But it's been great. Because in doing so, I realized that my pain's no different from anybody else's. I love it when people say, 'So much of your story is the same as mine.'" According to Mark Stephens, owner of La Yoga Center in Westwood, Calif., collaborator on the yoga sequences in her book and writer/director of her upcoming yoga video, Hemingway is an exemplar of living one's yoga. "Mariel has a unique ability to express and articulate the deeper meaning and purpose of yoga in a way that's accessible to a broad audience," Stephens says. "She has very consciously, thoughtfully and reflectively cultivated her own yoga practice over a 20-year period in a way that makes it very natural to her. That lets it be very natural for her in conveying it to other people." Slowing Down Hemingway's teachers include Rodney Yee, John Friend, Cathie Cassia, Chuck Miller, Bikram and Stephens. Her personal practice is a combination of ashtanga, power, anusara, iyengar and kundalini yoga. Her first approach to yoga, however, was anything but spiritual. "I got into it thinking it might get me in shape," she says laughing. "Actually, what I thought it could do was ridiculous! Then I realized it was really hard; and then I started to feel calm. I became more curious about that than I did about these other extra benefits." She has no specific routine she follows everyday, but is working on learning how to slow down her practice-and her "type A" personality. "Just recently, my teacher told a friend of mine, 'You should go to teachers who are not like you,'" Hemingway explains. "'Go to those teachers who challenge the type A personality that you are-the one who goes too slow for you and drives you a little crazy. Because that's what you need. You need to slow down.' "I realized that was so appropriate for me as well. I don't need to go to somebody who will do three hours of jumping around because I'm right there with them." The Branding of Yoga It's no secret that yoga today has exploded into mainstream America. Mind/body/spirit has become a branding tool and yoga apparel, once sold exclusively in individual studios, now can be found at Target. What does Hemingway think about the "consumerization" of yoga? "I say let it go into Target," she remarks. "I'm ready to put it into a video kind of world because I think it can change people. If people need to think they're going to lose weight from yoga in order to get into it, so what? I got into it thinking it might get me in shape. Who cares how somebody's introduced to yoga, because it truly is an important thing to do. "I believe the more the merrier. A lot of people read Yoga Journal.. Sometimes they do celebrity people that are involved in yoga. When they reviewed my book, it was looked at like it didn't have a lot of value. It's OK with me. But the truth is, I think that attitude is silly, because nobody's saying that they need to go to Target to buy their yoga things. But they should embrace more of the planet and their practice, however they do it. "People say, 'Don't do it in a health club.' Why not? There are some housewives who can't get it, but in a health club. Or who won't do exercise to anything but a video. They don't want to go out of their houses. Give them a little talk about silence and meditation, and maybe they can help their kids by being a bit more compassionate and understanding. It's just the little things that you do. I think it's all great." Meditation as Oxygen Mariel is a follower of Paramahansa Yogananda and was "mesmerized" by his "Autobiography of a Yogi" years ago. She signed up for meditative lessons and was initiated into the practice of Kriya yoga, which she does daily. She says she needs her meditation like she needs oxygen, and has also trained her daughters since childhood. "I had them meditating a lot when they were small," she explains. "They do it periodically now, and they really understand it. It truly rejuvenates the body and all the cells. I believe when you can slow the organs down, you rejuvenate your entire being." When asked if her daughters enjoy yoga too, she laughs. "I never pushed it on them. I get really excited when they do it, like 'oh yay!' But the minute I get too excited, they back off. I don't want them to rebel against it, so I don't make it a big deal." Role Model for Young Adults The topic of raising strong daughters is an important one for this multi-talented woman who is gathering information about it for a future project. Having battled eating disorders herself and experienced firsthand the health dangers of breast implants, she is a frequent lecturer to young people on the topics of self-esteem and body image. "What I talk to kids about is looking in the mirror and finding the beautiful person that they are," she says. "I think if kids can embrace themselves, their own confusion and pain, it will enable them to get through this life in a much healthier way-instead of trying to find outward ways to make them feel better about themselves. Like implants. Maybe they'll make you feel good about that aspect of your body for the rest of your life, but it's not going to solve any of your problems." A Westlake, Calif., resident during the school year, Mariel is also on the board of directors of a Los Angeles-based non-profit called Yoga on the Inside Foundation. Originally established to take yoga into prisons, it now oversees approximately 275 programs in 42 states, providing support and training for yoga teachers offering classes in environments such as inner city schools, hospitals, cancer clinics and a variety of half-way houses. Currently, she is preparing to direct her first feature film based upon grandfather Ernest's classic chronicle of 1920s Paris, "A Moveable Feast." It seems that the Hemingway who pursued a life of international adventure is about to be interpreted by the one who has spent hers on equally rugged terrain-her internal spiritual landscape. In doing so, she has found her own path to peace and balance. It is a path, she writes, that is hers alone, apart from her daughters or her husband, Stephen. What Hemingway has learned is that standing still ultimately means standing alone: "My journey, too, is my own. The two of us are blessed to have our separate lives to share together, but no partner, child or teacher can complete or heal me. We are our own saviors."