|
April feels like a perfect month to create a new tool or two for your meditation. Bringing a tool into your meditation will help your mind focus and unwind. Meditation is simply being able to calm your mind. Your meditation time along with the tool(s) you choose can be fun, easy, and something you create all for yourself. We do so many things for others throughout our days — taking a moment or two just for yourself each day is nurturing. By doing this, you will actually be giving to others and to the planet as well. When you shift your energy, it benefits everyone around you (and even far away because energy travels). When choosing a meditation tool, I suggest choosing a tool that moves you, one that is fun, playful, and passionate. A meditation tool can take many forms, such as walking, singing, cooking, reading, writing, gardening, even listening to music or taking a bath. (And, of course, sitting and just breathing.) Even how you choreograph your meditation time can be up to you. When you create something for yourself that moves you to the depths of your soul, you will want to do it. It will have more meaning for you than something you have forced yourself to do. Your meditation time does not have to take hours out of your day; it can take just a few minutes, as long as you have the intent to calm your mind. Concentrate on what it is you want to achieve. Imagine what you could accomplish by being able to have your mind work for you, along with creating complete focus in your life. Your awareness and the quality of your life will increase — that is a guarantee. So head out into April with absolute focus and some new fun, playful, passionate meditation tools! A few months ago, I was doing really well in regards to my personal growth. I felt right on track with my decisions and choices in life. Everything seemed to be falling into place. I felt at peace with my life, I was heading down a pretty good path, and feeling good, or so I thought. Then I met someone and began a relationship a month ago. Now my life is completely turned around. I feel like I’m out of control and nothing seems to be going as before. I know that doesn’t sound so good. I do want to continue seeing this person; I care for them very much. My questions is, how can I get back on track? And what happened to me besides meeting someone? I want that peaceful right-on-track feeling again, plus I want to stay with my relationship. Help. — Spiritually Derailed Life can seem a lot easier when you are not in an intimate relationship with someone. Relationships of any kind can be a challenge. As we all know, life's challenges are always about growth — the bigger the challenge, the more we grow. In regards to you, I am not seeing you actually too far off your path. It may feel that way to you. It simply looks like your partner is highlighting your patterns, and I bet you are doing the same for him as well (though not on purpose, of course). Patterns will always have their roots in childhood. That is why relationships of any kind will feel parallel to your upbringing. I am saying this because knowing the true root is helpful. It is the only way you can change a pattern completely. We are controlled 100% by our minds, so we need to work with the mind. You are at the place in your life where you obviously feel something is off. I would love for you to be more aware and watch yourself to see when you start to feel off. Observe your emotions, and when you begin to sense those off-track feelings coming up, know that your pattern is simply being amplified. Now it is time for you to choose what it is you want to do. I am saying choose what you want to do, not what the other person could or should do. The first reaction will be to want the other person to change. I would like to keep focused on you. After seeing and sensing when your emotions feel off track, the next step is to choose to shift yourself in that situation so you can feel more nurtured. That is what you have been trying to accomplish since you were young. As an adult, you can now learn how to nurture yourself while being involved with someone you care for. You already know you can do it as a single person; the next step is maintaining that feeling while being in an intimate relationship. Taking charge of your emotions and feelings is a real inner strength builder. The end result is that you get to be in a balanced relationship. Know that you are on track, stay focused on yourself when your feelings get uncomfortable, then choose what you want to do in that situation. Good work! I have a question that has been puzzling me for some time. Do people and animals go to the same place? — Bewildered About Pets The information I receive about the other side comes mostly from my Father. He passed on when I was young, and I have been working with him for some time now. He has taught me a lot about life here, passing on, and life on the other side. He is an amazing man. The answer to your question is yes. We are all the same inside; we all have souls. There is really not a place we go after we pass, since we are all energy beings. Energy is everywhere. The mind wants to see and believe there is a place we go after we pass, so it feels safe. It is true that we will be completely safe and loved. Consider this. Since life is purely about lessons, learning, and growth, what if the next time around you were are able to learn certain lessons more easily by being in an animal’s body? You would still be you, a soul. The more conscious people become the more I feel people will realize we are all one — we are connected energy. The concept of everyone and everything being equal will not seem such a stretch in time. I am 25 and a single parent of two children, ages 8 and 2. I am making huge changes in my life, and I am moving to California to go to school. When I make this move, I have wonderful supportive grandparents who will help me with my fold during this period. However, where my concern comes in is my 2 year old. His father and I have had a rocky relationship. As a result, we are no longer together, and I don't like his parents. I am very concerned about their influence on my son. While I am relocating, I may be leaving my son with his father, who lives with his mother and her boyfriend (the grandparents) until I am established. I want to know if leaving him with them during that time is going to elevate the situation or make it worse. Also, I am a little worried that they might do something while I am there, like running off with my son. — Concerned Mother I want to first look at your emotions around this situation. I sense fear. I realize you have your reasons for feeling this way. I would like to bring your emotions back to a place where you feel more in control and are able to maintain your power over your choices. When you carry fear in your body, you will feel out of control. Please know you always have choice, in any situation. If you ever feel like you do not have a choice, take a step back and refocus. By doing this, you are simply stepping out of your head and using your intuition to get a clear vision. I highly recommend using a tool to help you focus. Listening to music and simply writing out your options would be a perfect exercise for you. Do this for about a week, and I bet you will see a difference by the week’s end. If your mind has a hard time relaxing, first try walking and taking some deep breaths as you walk, then go back to writing. Your mind will probably tell you that you do not have time for this. These are all expansive tools, and they will help you calm your mind. It will only take a moment each day, along with willpower and practice. Through your writing, see where you feel powerless in this situation. Where can you change yourself? What other choices can you see yourself making? If you need to run your choices by friends to bounce ideas off of them, please do. This whole situation is a perfect catalyst for you to make higher choices in your life that nurture both you and your children. Remember, you always have choice, even if it looks like you do not. I bet this is not the first time you felt backed up against a wall. What if this time around you could actually release the pattern of feeling backed up against a wall forever? This is where you are at. So take a step back, refocus, and use your tools to aid you in your process. This situation would not be in front of you if you could not handle it. Keep sensing yourself and choose. You can do it! Deborah Koan, Intuitive Artist, uses her gift of intuition as a professional spiritual counselor and energy worker. Her practice is based in Seattle, and she offers both phone and office sessions. To contact Deborah, email <guidance@intuitiveartist.com> or call (206) 985-6601. |
