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An Interview with Cheryl Richardson
Cheryl Richardson’s vision is for "people to have the practical tools and resources they need to lead high quality, authentic lives." She fulfills this quest by providing simple, down-to-earth, and tangible methods for self-empowerment. At the heart of her work is the concept of extreme self-care, which teaches how to put your relationship with yourself first. She then challenges you to get very clear about your priorities and life values through self-examination and self-awareness. Finally, as part of her commitment to helping people create the lives they desire, she offers the Life Makeovers community, which facilitates people to start or join existing support groups (all free of charge). I first met Cheryl Richardson in the late 1980s when we both worked for the Interface Foundation, an innovative holistic education center in Boston, Massachusetts. She impressed me even then with her authenticity and her active passion for personal growth. Years later, I still remember a time when she kindly but firmly declined an invitation to participate in an event I was planning by saying it was not in alignment with her current life values and priorities. I recall being amazed at her ability to be so clear about her values and to base her decisions upon them. It is an example I often turn to when I am trying to stay true to my own needs and priorities. Recently, Cheryl and I talked about her work including the surprises along her successful career path, her passions, and how people can combat helplessness in our current political and economic climate. SC: What surprises you most about your work? CR: My first book, Take Time For Your Life, continues to surprise me. Whenever I write, I make sure my books fit three criteria. First, that they are easy to read and people can move through them quickly, because people don’t have a lot of time these days. Next, that they are filled with stories and examples that show people they are not alone and inspire them to take action. And that they include stories showing other people who are in similar situations improving the quality of their lives. All of my books are practical programs, which came from my coaching work with people. I care more about what people do, and that they use the book rather than just read it. Take Time for Your Life contains simple wisdom, what I think is mostly common sense. I was surprised at the powerful response I’ve received from it. I continue to get emails from people saying that Take Time completely changed their lives. I really feel that this book was divinely guided. The kinds of responses I’ve received and the details about how lives are being changed are beyond me and my writing. There is truly a more powerful energy involved. The book hit at the right time. I honestly didn’t think anything like this would happen. Things lined up in such a way that I know a divine power was involved. When the book came out, people were feeling incredibly overwhelmed in their lives — with the business of life — and were looking for practical answers. They were looking for something simple they could do on a day-to-day basis. I never expected it. Of course, like many authors, I dreamt about my book reaching thousands of people and the opportunity to be on Oprah. I never expected to be involved in series. She asked me to work on The Life Makeover Series. She really put me on the map. Life Makeovers carried this work forward. It is based on the online community emails I do. Through this, I really saw how effective a weekly program is, and this understanding shaped the writing I did in the future. I constantly receive feedback that people love having bite-sized information and specific action steps to take. SC: Tell me about your newest book, Stand Up for Your Life. CR: Stand Up For Your Life has just come out and is the most important work I’ve done. It focuses on doing inner work and how we grow with other people. This has been my own focus, spiritual and personal development. When I work with clients, I am always asking, "How does this client need to grow in order to best live?" That’s the way positive change truly happens. SC: It is the most spiritual of your books… CR: Yes. Of course, I work with people of all faiths. Take Time focuses on outer work. Life Makeovers introduced inner work. And Stand Up was a conscious decision to take a stronger stand spiritually. I believe the reason we are here is to invest in our own spiritual development. I’ve seen this across the board. No matter the level of faith or the way one practices it, it is clear to me; the reason we are here is to evolve as human beings. I was raised Catholic and moved away from the church early on. Still, there were certain rituals I held on to, like praying regularly. Then in 1997, I had a health crisis. I was very sick and was really frightened. It was out of desperation, really, that I began meditating an hour every day, connecting with my spiritual core, with my feeling of knowing that I was connected, that we are all connected. Meditating is a way of finding a source of inner security. SC: In a recent issue of O, Oprah mentions how you rocked the boat the first time you were on her show when you told women they need to put themselves before their children. Can you say why this concept of self-care was so shocking? CR: I told people they had to put themselves at the top of their Absolute Yes List. There were a lot of mothers in the audience, and of course all mothers feel they must put their children first. I don’t know if it was during the show or after the show that I asked people to go back to their childhood, to their own mothers. Wouldn’t you have wanted your mother to take better care of herself? Wouldn’t your experience as a child have been more positive if she had? Wouldn’t you have wanted your mother to have the time, the tools, and the support she needed? Everyone agrees with this and wishes that kind of self-care for one’s mother. Let’s move beyond that conversation of selfishness versus selflessness. If we do not take care of ourselves, we truly can’t be there for other people. Look at what is next in your life. What are you doing about it? How are you actively engaged in bettering your own personality? Your spirit? Building your character and a life of integrity instead of doing what others think you should be doing? It is not what we talk about doing that is important; it is what we actually do. SC: What else are you passionate about? CR: The other thing I am passionate about and committed to is community-building — joining with others in making a community to improve the quality of people’s lives. There are over 2,500 Lifestyle Makeover groups now. The Lifestyle Makeover groups are incredible. They are free, leaderless, and use simple guidelines. One of the coolest things is the Monday night men’s telegathering, providing men with an opportunity to do their personal work. I decided it was unlikely that men would start a lot of Lifestyle Makeover groups, so I decided to hold one using teleconferencing. I figured the first teleconference would be three guys and me. We had over one hundred men on the phone. I was blown away by the level of authenticity and the support they gave each other. It solidified my commitment to men. I feel so blessed that I had the privilege of sitting in on a men’s Lifestyle Makeover group. One guy said, "For days I walked around frightened and broken. I have no place to bring that." He was saying that as a declaration of frustration about being a man in our society, in his marriage, and also in his being. It is hard for him to be hurt and broken. It was such an opening. I’ll never forget it. SC: Many people are feeling fearful and discouraged about the current economic climate and potential war and believe that they cannot make a difference. How can they be more empowered? CR: The best way to counteract helplessness is to act. Choose simple things to do. The Internet is a great tool for this. For example, I am on the Amnesty International email list. When there is an alert, I am directed in an easy way to act. Know the email addresses of your local politicians and share your views. The emails that are sent to the White House and to government officials — they are reading them, and they react. Nina Utne [of Utne Reader] just sent me an email about preparing for a peace march in March [see <www.unitedforpeace.org>], asking for people to please send donations, so I took out my checkbook and wrote a check. Writing a check even for five dollars can help. Taking some kind of action will help eliminate helplessness. SC: What do you mean when you say we all have a divine purpose? CR: There are two parts to having a divine purpose: making your spiritual development a top priority and contributing to others in a meaningful way. I can see that the people who live the most full and purposeful lives are people who are engaged in acts that contribute to the well being of others. Whether it’s being a mom, a parent, or a teacher, what’s more powerful than shaping a human being? Or running a non-profit. Or whatever way you help. When people ask about finding their life purposes, what I am hearing is that they are not happy with the state of their lives. They want to add meaning. They want to make a difference in the world. I tell them, "Start by making a difference in your own life. Invest in your own spiritual development. Come from a pure place of having your own needs being met." Find your true, authentic contribution. Develop a strong relationship with who you are. Learn how to express your talents and gifts in the world. Uncover yourself. Be more connected to who you are. We are all trained to look for a quick fix. Hang on through the discomfort and the sense of boredom to the other side, where you find a level of security. There were times I hid the fact that I was in therapy, all the money I spent, etc. It is some of the best work I’ve done! More and more, we need to celebrate that desire in us to want to heal and to go deep and connect with our spiritual core. Cheryl Richardson will present "Create a Larger Vision for Your Life" February 18th at 7:30 p.m. and "Stand Up for Your Life: Develop the Courage and Confidence to Fulfill Your Greatest Potential," February 19th, 9 a.m.-noon at the Women of Wisdom Conference. Call (206) 782-3363 or visit <www.womenofwisdom.org>. Subscribe to Cheryl's newsletter or join a Life Makeover group at <www.cherylrichardson.com>. Susan Chiat is a writer, marketing and public relations consultant and can be reached at <schiat@aol.com>. |
Master
coach and best-selling author Cheryl Richardson has a message
for the masses. "You have within you the power to fulfill
your highest vision of your life," she says in her latest
book, Stand Up for Your Life. Demonstrated by the popular
response to her first two books, Take Time for Your
Life and Life Makeovers, as well as her many appearances
on Oprah and the Oxygen network, it is clear that the masses
are listening.