|
An Idea Whose Time Has Come In his groundbreaking book Love and Survival, cardiologist Dean Ornish says, "Anything that promotes a sense of isolation often leads to illness and suffering. Anything that promotes a sense of love and intimacy, connection and community, is healing." Nowhere is this truth more evident than in the treatment of clinical depression. A depressive illness is a whole-body disorder, involving one’s physiology, biochemistry, mood, thoughts, and behavior. It affects the way you eat and sleep and the way you think and feel about yourself, others, and the world. Clinical depression is not a passing blue mood or a sign of personal weakness. Subtle changes in the brain’s chemistry can create a terrible malaise in the body-mind-spirit that can affect every dimension of your being. Because depression does not manifest through obvious physical deformities, people who have depression get little sympathy compared to those who have "physical illnesses" such as cancer or heart disease. Often, they are told to "snap of it" or "tough it out." In spite of their pain, they are expected to soldier on with their broken lives, becoming what William Styron calls "the walking wounded." This makes depression a very lonely experience. Those possessed by melancholy feel cut off from God, removed from themselves, and misunderstood by others. The pain of feeling like a social leper causes the depressed person to further isolate and withdraw from social contact. But while the desire to isolate is understandable, it does not work. One cannot overcome an illness like major depression by oneself. The weight of the agony is too immense, even for the strongest-willed individual, to bear alone. Instead, the person in the hell of depression needs to reach out and ask for support. This is becoming easier. As celebrities such as Mike Wallace, Rosie O’Donnell, and the late Rod Steiger break the silence about depression, it is much more acceptable to come out of hiding and admit that one is grappling with a mental illness. Thus it seems both appropriate and practical that people with depression and other mood disorders should join together and heal in community. This model of healing through community has been discovered and practiced by our brothers and sisters in Alcoholics Anonymous (and other 12-step groups) for the past seven decades. Each day, people seeking to heal from alcoholism and drug addiction find fellowship and recovery in AA and NA meetings around the globe. I believe that similar communities can now be created for those suffering from depression and/or anxiety. Healing in Community My belief in the healing power of community is not just a theoretical construct. In the fall of 1996, after a series of personal losses and setbacks, I plummeted into a major depressive episode. For the next ten months, I struggled to stay alive in the face of overwhelming despair as out-of-control anxiety attacks alternated with dark, suicidal depressions. Unfortunately, none of the available antidepressant medication seemed to help me — in fact the drugs made things worse. Each day felt like an eternity, as I struggled to stay alive in the face of overwhelming feelings of hopelessness and despair. It was at that point that the community of a New Thought church called The Living Enrichment Center stepped into the picture. A spiritual support group, consisting of LEC’s ministers, members of the prayer ministry, my therapist, my family, and friends met with me and held a vision of my wellness over a period of three months. During that time, my symptoms went into total remission. What the best doctors in Portland and the best medication could not accomplish was achieved through the support of a group of committed, loving people. After my recovery, I decided to replicate this model and share it with others. This has led to the creation of healing from depression and anxiety support groups in which members learn practical tools for alleviating their symptoms within a caring and supportive environment. As the groups have unfolded, I have seen many people’s moods and lives transformed through the power of group support. The remainder of this article is an attempt to share with the reader how these healing circles can be formed in one’s own community. of a Support Group It is amazingly empowering to have the support of a strong, motivated and inspirational group of people — Susan Jeffers, Fear the Fear and Do It Anyway I would like to begin my discussion of a healing from depression support group by looking at what it can and cannot do. A depression support group can: • be a place where you are heard and listened to. • provide a safe place to share emotions. • validate your pain. • be a place to connect with people who understand what you are going through because they are there, or have been there. • help you to realize that you are not alone. • share experiences — what worked and what didn’t. • show by example how to bring about wellness. A depression support group cannot: • provide professional therapy/counseling. • take the pain away. • stop or solve problems — e.g. legal problems, interpersonal problems, illness, etc. It is important to note that although depression support groups are therapeutic, they are not a substitute for psychotherapy. Many people who suffer from depression experienced trauma in early childhood, such as loss, abandonment, neglect, or abuse. If, during the course of the group, a person goes into crisis or becomes overwhelmed by emotions arising from the unconscious, it is essential to have a place to go — i.e. a mental health therapist — to process those feelings. As in any other support group, it is important to set a regular time to meet. Weekly meetings are ideal, although every other week will also work. The length of the meeting can vary depending on the number of people in the group. (You can have as little as two members; six to eight members are ideal.) Give yourself at least 90 minutes; two hours is more realistic. During the meeting, each group member will have the opportunity to share and to receive support from the group. Choose a facilitator to direct the group, and keep track of time. You may want to open the group with a prayer or meditation to focus and center the group energy. Then, the first person begins his sharing which can be structured as follows: 1. For the first block of time (usually 7-8 minutes), the person gives an update on his mood (one way to do this to use the -5 to +5 mood scale from my book Healing From Depression) and shares how he is faring in his recovery, reporting any successes, challenges, insights, etc. During this sharing, it is the role of each group member to listen attentively. The process works best if people do not interrupt or give advice at this time. 2. After the person’s sharing time is up, the facilitator asks the person if he or she would like some feedback (3-4 minutes worth) from the group. If the person requests feedback, group members can then validate the person’s experience ("I can hear your frustration"), show compassion ("I’m sorry that you hurt") or offer reassurance and suggestions. 3. Finally, the facilitator asks the person if he would like to make a request for support for the coming week. Examples include, "I would like support for exercising three times a week," or "monitoring my self-talk on a daily basis," or "being more consistent with my daily meditation." The group then affirms the person silently or by using an affirmation such as, "I see you attaining your goal and hold for you a vision of your success." The act of making a specific request that is witnessed by others is based on the Master Mind principle. Napoleon Hill first coined the term "Master Mind" in his classic book, Think and Grow Rich. Hill discovered that successful business people did not succeed on their own, but depended on a "brain trust" whom they consulted before making important decisions. He writes: The human mind is a form of energy. When two or more minds cooperate in harmony, they form a great "bank" of energy plus a third, invisible force which can be likened to a Master Mind. The Master Mind is yours to use as you desire. It is the master way to use organized and directed knowledge as a road to lifelong power. There are two reasons why the Master Mind approach is so powerful in helping people experience emotional healing. To begin, Master Mind partners are able to believe for each other that which each person alone might find difficult to embrace. This is what occurred in my situation. Although I was convinced that recovery was impossible, the members of my support team held a vision of my healing until it came to pass. Second, in a Master Mind meeting, the presence of two or more people activates a benevolent spiritual force (called the "Master Mind" or "High Power"). When people place their goals and requests into the hands of this energy, Spirit provides answers and solutions in the most amazing way. In between meetings, members can stay in touch with each other by phone or email or participate in social activities. This ongoing contact helps people stay connected (and therefore supported) throughout the week. In addition to the group sharing, you may wish to add an educational component to the group experience through choosing a "recovery topic for discussion" at the beginning of each meeting. Topic examples include exercise, diet, spirituality, medication, communicating with family members, etc. A good source of such topics is found in my book Healing From Depression: A Body, Mind and Spirit Recovery Program, as well as other books on the holistic treatment of depression. In addition, you may wish to bring in outside speakers who can share their areas of expertise. I would like to conclude this article with a lovely meditation (borrowed from the recovery movement) which we use to conclude our groups. These words beautifully describe the healing power of community. I put my hand in yours, and together we can do what we could never do alone. No longer is there a sense of hopelessness; no longer must we depend on our own unsteady willpower. We are all together now, reaching out our hands for power and strength greater than our own, and as we join hands we find love and understanding beyond our wildest dreams. Douglas Bloch, M.A., is an author and counselor who writes and speaks on the topics of psychology, healing, and spirituality. Douglas leads healing from depression and anxiety support groups in Portland, Oregon where he teaches his "better mood recovery program" as described in his book, Healing From Depression: A Body, Mind and Spirit Recovery Program. You may contact Douglas by email: <dbloch@teleport.com> or visit his web site at <www.healingfromdepression.com>. |