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The only true power is the power of love. Since love has no limits, you have a great deal of potential power at your disposal. Your power lies in your ability to be true to the voice of your heart and to your true feelings and to take actions that are in harmony with your heart and feelings. Your power also lies in your willingness to change. You have to be willing to identify and let go of old, stuck patterns to feel truly empowered. Throughout the ages, through many past lives, most of us have experienced abuses of power, especially political power. Many of us came from families where power was used inappropriately. Some of us were victimized by parents who had no notion of what it meant to use their power well, or even cared about doing that. We were blamed, shamed, beaten, sexually violated, criticized, or made to feel as though we were not enough. As a result, many of us don't feel very powerful and don’t know how to use power well. After growing up this way, many of us became involved in relationships where we felt victimized, rejected, or abandoned. These relationships were not empowering! What blocks you from feeling like a powerful person, able to use all of your talent and potential in ways that feel really good to you? What keeps you from totally being your empowered self when you are with others? What keeps you from valuing yourself, having high self esteem, and staying true to your own highest ideals and values? If you grew up with parents who were blaming, shaming, critical, or abusive, you carry around parts of yourself called sub-personalities that don't support you. You may have an Inner Critic, Judge, or Negative Inner Parent that is much too strong and much too hard on you. The inner critic is ruled by Saturn. This part of yourself criticizes everything you do. Nothing you do is ever good enough for your Inner Critic. Your Inner Critic rarely praises you. Mostly, you get negative feedback about what wasn't good enough about what you did or what is wrong with how you look. The Inner Critic destroys your self-confidence. To heal your Inner Critic, you need to be willing to praise yourself much more. Notice what you did that was right. Notice what you like about the way you look. Be sure to let yourself know about this. In other words, draw on the energy of Venus (love) and Jupiter (optimism/confidence), and give yourself lots of positive feedback. The Inner Judge is similar to the Inner Critic, except that the Inner Judge judges everything, usually quite negatively. Like the Inner Critic, the Inner Judge is ruled by Saturn. It usually judges you (and sometimes others) as being unworthy for one reason or another. You are wrong, you are bad — or else the other person is wrong and bad. The Inner Judge is very reactive and judgmental. It works hand-in-hand with the Inner Critic. Together they destroy your self-esteem and self-confidence. The only way to heal the Inner Judge is to stop judging everything and everybody — and especially to stop judging yourself. Suspend all judgment. Let it go. You are not always capable of judging things accurately. Something may appear to be bad when it is really good. If you had an abusive childhood, you probably carry around a Negative Inner Parent. This is definitely a Saturnine figure. The Negative Inner Parent treats you much like your real parents treated you when they were being negative. It criticizes, blames, shames, and even punishes you, and is usually much too hard on you. The only way to heal the Negative Inner Parent is to decide to love yourself, stop criticizing and blaming yourself, get professional help in dealing with the shame, and give yourself as many loving messages as you can every single day. In order to counteract the Negative Inner Parent, Critic, and Judge, you need to develop a very strong Loving Inner Parent who gives you many supportive, loving messages. If you grew up with a very harsh or punitive parent, this may be hard. Therapy or hypnotherapy may be helpful in helping you love yourself and parent yourself in a loving way. The Loving Inner Parent, which is ruled by the planet Venus, does not tear you down when you make a mistake. It attempts to lovingly guide you while allowing you to learn from your errors. Your Loving Inner Parent is always there for you, giving you lots of support and encouragement. One of the most difficult sub-personalities for women and some men is the Pleaser — the "good girl" or "good boy." This part of you desperately wants love, so much so that you become willing to give up your true identity and feelings in favor of trying to be what you think another person wants. For example, you might go to a movie that your date wants to see even though it is a subject you hate. The Pleaser usually develops in response to your relationship with one of your parents. Perhaps you felt that you had to please or satisfy the feelings of this parent in order to be loved. The Pleaser is very insidious, because when you deny your true feelings in favor of pleasing others, the result is a loss of your true identity and an erosion of your self-esteem, not to mention a lot of confusion! The Pleaser doesn't trust that others will love her for herself. She believes she has to pretend to feel things she doesn't feel. If your inner Pleaser is too strong, affirm that it is all right to feel what you feel and to let others know about your true feelings. You don't have to exaggerate or pretend anything. The goal is to be authentic. Be willing to love yourself. What you really feel is truly perfect; don't distort it. Give yourself lots of approval for being you. If this is too difficult, you may want to connect with a professional therapist, counselor, or hypnotherapist. If you grew up in a family where there was little support for your feelings, you may have a strong Pusher. The Pusher is always in a hurry, and often uses fear to move you forward on a project. Unfortunately, since the Pusher often represents fears that you have not yet consciously acknowledged, you may move forward too rapidly and fail to come from your true center. The Pusher urges you to take action before you have been able to clarify your feelings about what needs to be done. The result is often a catastrophe. The positive aspect of the Pusher is its capacity to alert you to a need for action. When the Pusher is used with love, you don't over-push, but give yourself plenty of rest and pleasure as you move toward the accomplishment of your dreams and goals. If you had a very abusive childhood, an Omnipotent Power sub-personality often emerges to protect your vulnerable Inner Child (symbolized by the Moon). This powerful sub-personality is ruled by the planet Pluto. It attempts to use its power to keep you safe. When misused, it resorts to manipulation and over-control to maintain its power and your safety, and it is prone to power struggles with other people. Though very strong and capable, its desire for power and success may run contrary to the heart's need to love and give or the Moon's desire to be vulnerable and open. Underlying this sub-personality is usually a frightened and insecure child. The Omnipotent Power part of you often cooperates with your inner Pusher. The positive use of your Omnipotent Power sub-personality is to guide you to true empowerment by using its power and confidence to help you come from your deepest essence as you move toward your goals. In this way, you can use your power to aid and uplift others, rather than just to succeed. Ideally, you can allow yourself to be both powerful and vulnerable, so that your child-like vulnerability can be honored by your adult self. You may need to use some form of therapy or get a good diagnostic astrology reading in order to pinpoint what needs to be changed and come into a new balance. As you heal the negative aspects of the Inner Critic, Judge, Negative Inner Parent, Pleaser, Pusher, and Omnipotent Power parts, you are better able to create fulfilling relationships and feel more empowered. Your playful and vulnerable Inner Child can express in a safe manner that isn't childish, since your empowered adult self is there at the same time. Your self esteem is high, and you know that you have what it takes to move out into the world, using all your potentials to be all that you can be. Nancy Kahn has 27 years of experience as a professional astrologer, astrology teacher, lecturer and past life regressionist. She is a clinical hypnotherapist with hands-on experience healing the wounds of childhood. Nancy is the author of a book on psychological/spiritual astrology, The Astrology of the Inner Family. She is teaching a 6-week class in psychological astrology called "Healing the Mother Wound" starting on Oct. 8. Nancy can be reached at 206-284-1143, or visit <http://members.aol.com/Nancykahn>. |
Nowadays
you hear a lot of talk about "taking back your power."
I enjoy feeling like a powerful woman, and would love to feel
that way all the time. I love feeling empowered to achieve all
my goals and deepest dreams. But what does "taking back
your power" really mean? Just what is true power?