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— D. H. Lawrence God helps those who help themselves. The urge to transform is deep within us — call it escape from pain, the drive to freedom, or the force of human evolution. Anaïs Nin put it well when she wrote, "Then the day came when the risk it took to remain tight in a bud was greater than the risk it took to blossom." The following incident helps clarify and resolve the apparent contradiction between working on ourselves and serving others: One day Socrates (my mentor as described in my book, Way of the Peaceful Warrior) and I were walking along a street by campus when we came to some posters on a wall. One was about helping oppressed peoples; another had faces of starving children; a third asked for our support in saving the whales. Reading these posters, I said, "Socrates, I sometimes feel guilty, or selfish, doing all this work on myself when there are so many people in need out there." Socrates continued walking, saying nothing at first, until he stopped abruptly and said, "I’ll give you five dollars if you can slap me on the cheek." I had no idea where this non sequitur came from, but refused to play his game until he started slapping me playfully, challenging me, until I finally took a swing at him — and found myself on the ground in a rather painful wrist-lock. "Notice," he said, "how a little leverage at the right place and right time can be very effective?" "Yes," I answered, getting up, "I noticed." "It’s commendable that you want to help others," he told me. "But before you can help others you have to understand them. And before you can truly understand them you have to understand yourself. Follow your heart, by all means, and help where you can. But only when you’ve first developed clarity, courage, and commitment will you know how to exert the leverage to really make a difference." One need not choose between self and world. We can accept ourselves as we are, and at the same time, use whatever resources instruct, uplift, and empower us to lead better lives. According to a Chinese sage, "Only the supremely wise and the ignorant do not change." Like the caterpillar, which goes through the dramatic change into a butterfly, we have birth, puberty, menopause, and, eventually, death. But our lives also involve many small transformations, many opportunities to be born and reborn. To what? That is the question, and the mystery, which remains before us — a puzzle not to solve, but to celebrate. My congratulations to The New Times on its 200th consecutive monthly publication — a massive achievement on both the material and spiritual planes. Dan Millman is the best-selling author of Way of the Peaceful Warrior, The Life You Were Born to Live, The Laws of Spirit, and Living on Purpose, among others. Visit his Web site at <http://www.danmillman.com/>. |
We are changing
— we have got to change.