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Talking with Dan Millman
Probably best known for his Way of the Peaceful Warrior, Dan Millman has put together an eclectic stack of writing, from his famous novel to work with numerology and practical application of his varied thoughts. In what began as something of a finale to his nonfiction books, Dan has now pulled together 25 spiritual principles that his old mentor, Socrates, used to call "The House Rules," and Dan’s titled this gathering Living on Purpose. As a fan of the "conscious living" theme, I couldn’t resist — I spoke with Dan to find out more of what the book has to offer, and to find out what his message is today. Having read Living on Purpose before talking with Dan, I already knew what a simple and practical approach he was taking, so it was little surprise that this is one of the first things he spoke of as well. "Simplicity has power," he told me. "It’s not so much what teachers know, but what they can communicate — because there are teachers who are very wise, but they don’t have ways to express it that can build bridges to people." If the variety of people approaching him for answers gives an indication, he is certainly building bridges. Living on Purpose not only lists Dan’s 25 House Rules, but also illustrates these with quotes, anecdotes, and answers to questions posed him over the years. "To me, life is questions and answers; the whole history of humanity has involved problems and solutions. Rather than just in some idealistic philosophical way, I get down to ‘What can we actually do?’ ‘How does life work?’ " My own spiritual approach speaks to the human constitution as body, mind, emotions, and spirit. If Dan was emphasizing practical application of spiritual matters, I also wanted to know his thoughts on these other realms. He was quick to assure his recognition of and wisdom on each of these. Of mind he says: "Metaphysics has its place — so does philosophy — many people like to understand their way to enlightenment. But," he reminds, as if for balance, "it’s also what we do in simple, everyday ways." Of emotions: "I treat my emotions like my children: I listen to them, I learn from them, I value them, but I don’t let them take over the household." And how do you bring up spirituality, when it has so very many paths? We opted to talk on meditation. "I don’t actually meditate in a traditional sense," says Dan. "Lately I’ve turned my everyday life into a form of moving meditation — insight and surrender, which is really what meditation is all about. You watch, you practice enlightenment. Meditation is one possible spiritual exercise people can do; many of those, meanwhile, aren’t really practicing with their family life, or with their work, or getting their finances together to free their attention and function in a stable way in life, so I emphasize all approaches to everyday life." Also interested in teaching and education, I wanted to know of his experiences as a teacher to so many. He had a number of things to say. First, he points out what many have said and believe: that life itself is a school; one needn’t have any particular teacher or book, though these may help to speed one’s progress. For this latter reason, many of us will choose to teach, not just subjects, but wisdom too. "The best teachers we’ve all had in school are those few who didn’t teach their subject; they taught life through their subject, and that’s what I endeavor to do." He points out, I think, why so many cannot resist the call to teach: "No matter what I learned, no matter what I gained [through gymnastics], it only benefited one person, and I was aware I was going to take that one person to the worms one day. But I wanted to make a difference, and I felt if I could teach other people, they might share with other people, and I could have a bigger positive impact." I was curious how this desire to teach played out in his relationship with his children, and he explained how his kids were more interested in having him as a dad than as a teacher — that they were each finding their own paths of personal growth and that he was proud of them all for their individual achievements. "The good that I may have done my children," says Dan, "is that I’ve been a good example, at least in terms of how I’ve lived. It counts for so much more than what I say." Satisfied with that, I finally wanted to know what Dan is emphasizing today — something he finds important right now that we might take with us. He pondered for a moment in reflection, then said, "Take a close look at what we can and can’t control in our lives. If we look very closely, we actually have very little direct control by our will or intention over our emotions or thoughts. We can influence some things, but we can’t control them. The only thing we have direct control over is our behavior, so I emphasize what we can control, which is our behavior, and let emotions and thoughts be." I responded that working on what we can control actually affects those incoming thoughts and emotions over time — the approach is more potent than people might believe. Dan agreed. "I think it’s a much more useful, more constructive way to live than to be constantly trying to find subtle, sophisticated, spiritual solutions to fix our insides before we’ll live. This may seem like a very ordinary statement, but it can change the whole of one’s life. It’s still changing mine." Dan Millman is a teacher and author of many books, including his new Living on Purpose (September 2000). He will speak and sign books at Seattle’s East West Bookshop on September 27, 7:00-8:00 p.m., and will talk at the Discover U learning exchange on September 28. His schedule and contact information are on his Web site at <http://www.danmillman.com/>. |
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Two things I feel pretty sure of by now about spirituality: 1) foundational truths are simple; 2) spiritual thought needs to be practical for life on Earth. Both of these speak to my appreciation of Dan Millman’s work.